What's the worst thing about falling in love with a narcissist?

 The worst thing about falling in love with a narcissist is discovering emotional suffering on levels never experienced before.

We all, over the years, go through painful experiences. The death of a family member, getting away from friends who harm you, breaking up a healthy relationship, an illness... and unfortunately in most of them there is suffering. There is a stage of mourning to go through and some adversity to overcome. As the days go by you recover your desire, your joy, your routines and little by little you return to normality. You assume the fact, you understand what you experienced and you accept the possible learning.

But what happens when you get involved with a narcissist?

That you understand absolutely NOTHING. You are with a person who tells you that he loves you, who tells you how wonderful you are and who suddenly, and for no apparent reason, begins to act in a strange, distant, cold and moody way. And the first thing you do is a behavioral self-analysis. You start in a loop thinking, what did you say, when, how. You give a thousand turns to the chat looking for answers. One sleepless night, two, three. In the morning headache and stomach ache. You try to speak it and you end up dizzy, what did he just say to me? Have I not been clear? Did she just name me her ex, the one who was crazy at first but now remembers her and apparently she really understood and loved him? Did I ask about the ex without realizing it? Oh! I don't know, I'm going crazy.

Well tomorrow I'll talk about it again, I think doing it now is not a good idea, I'm going to seem paranoid.

And so the days go by, with pending talks, with meaningless phrases going around in your head. Looking for answers with your friends, without being very clear about what you should explain. Jumping from instagram to facebook looking for something to help you understand. When you realize, 4 hours have passed and you have finished in the profile of the exes, analyzing even the color of the highlights that they have just put on and whoops! You are on the internet looking at highlights of that color and wondering if they would look good on you. Come on, they were at that parador he took me to one day. Wait! And in that restaurant, and on that beach! But hey, if a story has been uploaded with our wake-up song!!! And PUMP all of a sudden your self-esteem is slowly starting to drop, but you don't give it the real meaning of the situation. Instead of doing that and setting you free,

Every day is more distant and conversations about space and time flood your moments together. And you see yourself explaining basic concepts about love, fidelity, honesty, dedication and respect to an "adult" man who doesn't seem to understand what relationships are about.

You argue, it disappears. You ignore him, he appears angry. You tell him to quit, he tells you he's going to therapy. And one day you no longer feel like getting out of bed, or going to the gym, or talking to your friends. You no longer see the sun, nor do you want to know what day it is. You just want to sleep and not wake up anymore because you're exhausted.

However, he is more active than ever on social networks and when you see him in person it seems that adrenaline has been shot. Your confusion is already at stratospheric limits.

And the moment comes when your cadaverous body manages to put an end to the story and your friends and family come to your rescue. If you're lucky someone will help you discover what you've lived and from there your second life begins.

The good thing about falling in love with a narcissist?

You wake up. You have definitely discovered that there are people without empathy, without remorse and without scruples. People who do not know how to love. Soulless people. emotional predators. They're everywhere, but now you have enough antibodies so they don't infect you again. You've come out of hell and you look better than ever (and if you're not there, you'll get there). Stronger, much wiser. With high levels of resilience. Able to stand up to the slightest hint of abuse. No one will cheat on you like that again.

I don't thank the narcissist for my change. I thank myself for allowing me to fall and having the courage to get up.